I know, I make the agnostics weep. But I was once given the full scream by my sister when I declared I was agnostic. Because she's the Philosophy major in the family, I couldn't really argue with her when she said, "I didn't know what the feck I was talking about." It's still true what I said though; that if God were here, I'd really like to talk to him in private because I'd like to get to the bottom of my main concern on Earth, explained best by this passage from Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre:
Why could I never please? Why was it useless to try to win anyone’s favor? Eliza, who was headstrong and selfish, was respected. Georgiana, who had a spoiled temper, a very acrid spite, a captious and insolent carriage, was universally indulged. Her beauty, her pink cheeks and golden curls, seemed to give delight to all who looked at her, and to purchase indemnity for every fault. John no one thwarted, much less punished, though he twisted the necks of the pigeons, killed the little pea-chicks, set the dogs at the sheep, stripped the hothouse vines of their fruit, and broke the buds off the choicest plants in the conservatory; he called his mother ‘old girl’, too; sometimes reviled her for her dark skin, similar to his own; bluntly disregarded wishes; not infrequently tore and spoiled her silk attire; and he was still ‘her own darling’. I dared commit no fault; I strove to fulfill every duty; and I was termed naughty and tiresome, sullen and sneaking, from morning to noon, and from noon to night.
Luckily, I think I've successfully applied the rule of attraction the last few days so every positive thought that I sent out to the universe were bounced back to me through positive manifestations. ( Read/or watch: The Secret for more on these rules of attraction meme.)
Here are some of the things that's been slowly restoring my faith the last couple of days:
The Jeep Birthday Tradition, where celebrants are mandated to treat the gang to a round of Red Box. But because this was a double-celebration (me and Jicky's) thus more money for the group, we kind of felt we had to feed them as well. Only Chiara was missing, but her spirit lives on! (Haha) It's rare to gather us all in one place, so this was kind of a milestone.
Free Books. For my birthday, Nachi (How to be bad) and Apol (The little Prince) gave me two of my book-lists as presents for my birthday. They had cute dedications, but I don't have an internet at home, and where I'm doing this, it doesn't have bluetooth. You get the tech complications and whatnots. Plus, I bought myself a Ned Vizzini too, because its old cover was available at FullyBooked gateway and I didn't really want another book with the movie poster on the front.
I'm flying to London this week! The exact date is still on the works. I was supposed to go Thursday night but I can only book one on the morning, which I think, won't do since I still have stuff I need to sort out before I leave. Which leaves me with Friday, or worst, Saturday. I really wanna go ASAP. But I'm better off just "letting it be". I think. I'll be greeting from Stevenage soon! But wish that I get there string-free first. Cos it's all crazy right now.
A new job, which I will reveal the day after I start working there. So it would already mean it's legit and fo shiz, because if there's one universal element that works wonders for me, it's jinxes.
Kthnxbye. And hope that I keep the faith.