Sunday, November 28, 2010


First, and most importantly, I can say I'm finally happy. Like all that months of misery suddenly just became a blur, a distant past, a feeling I could no longer remember because my heart has ran out of room for it. And thus my long absence here, you can never really write happiness. The past weeks, I've not been bugged by the need to go here and share because I worried that what I had would be de-valued if I wrote it, like I didn't want anyone knowing, like I didn't want anyone having access to it, like I wanted it exclusively mine.

Thanks are in order, though. This can be largely cited to my new job. Last week when my boss asked me if I had non-negotiables in work, I told him, "I wanted this too much too long to have non-negotiables." And I meant every single word of it. From the day he interviewed me up until now, I've worn my heart on my sleeve. It might've been terribly broken then, but I'm slowly having it mended. That's why when I learned my almost-a-month salary would be delayed for next payday, I didn't really mind. I was just too happy to be there, to be doing what I'm doing, and to get paid for it is mostly just so I could eat and commute everyday to work. What I've gotten was fresh air, "like I was drowning and it saved me."

You have to know me, you have to have been there to really understand how much my life had changed in a matter of the words "you're hired", where everything about those phrase seemed just absolutely right, and in place. And as I said before, finally, my life is on track.


On a more specific, less-dramatic note, what happened since then were:

1. I've fan-girled over Broadcast Journalists A LOT. So much I could be mistaken for a psycho stalker who can be capable of pulling off the world's most bizarre stalker display of fandom.

2. I've been learning A LOT. On bad grammar, bad composition, bad editorial judgment, dangerously slow buffering of brain in times of newsroom urgency, sucky tech skills (which has a lot do with my job), and the likes. Some of which, I've been learning the hard way, but there's nothing really new with craft-related heartbreak because I've waded through a whole pit of it since college. But it's the good kind of pain, the kind I like, the kind that is welcome, the kind that renders me unable to sleep at night thinking of ways to get better, which is also the kind of insomnia I crave for. Simply put, I'm beginning to have the old me back.

3. I went to Baguio. With two of my best friends, Apple and Angelique. We basically just drove 6 hours and back, did Manila things only in a cooler weather, and nicer people, but I've always held Baguio dear in my heart, so I guess there lies the difference. After all, they say it's always the thought that counts. Plus, I was finally able to buy that The Catcher in the Rye shirt. Apple and Jicky bought one for themselves too, so they owe me that.

4. My food baby has gotten so out of control. I look like I'm freaking pregnant and all I can wear are loose-on-the-tummy shirts. And I don't want to cut back on my eating, and I'm too lazy to do push-ups as many have recommended, so I'm kind of on the doom of how to deal with this pseudo weight problem. But it doesn't really bother me that much. Heh.

5. My holiday season will remain cold, that's all I could say. Haha. You think a big company would offer an array of possibilities, but the closest I've come so far was this one guy I saw around the newsroom whom nobody knows and whom Apple have called as someone who looked like he hasn't taken a bath in a while. Plus my Lee Dewyze of the season (formerly David Cook, Matt Giraud, Ollie Murs), Aiden Grimshaw got booted out of the X Factor, so I've been boy-less in every possible angle. Thank God for TV shows and hot stars it comes with. And thank God for Rupert Grint in the latest Harry Potter movie. Which brings me to...

5. Harry Potter. I was finally able to see it. It just makes me sad to see the magic has disappeared significantly from the past films. It's all been just dark twisty stuff, and although that's what was really on the book, I guess I miss the flashy, wondrous magic I grew up with since the Philosopher's stone. And I still can't believe they took a swing at Twilight, they should've just let it go, if you ask me. I re-watched the first 6 films, and every time, I am left in awe at the genius that J.K Rowling is. She will forever be my hero. Harry Potter is just this humongous metaphor of life, and you couldn't ask for a better way to say it than with spells and portkeys. I actually dread the 2nd and last part of the finale - I can't believe we're done with it. I better save up to buy the books soon and re-read them.

6. Books. I have so many that I'm still yet to read. Some of them are: The Little Prince, Love Stargirl, It's kind of a funny story and Franny and Zooey. I'm a quarter into Jane Eyre and I haven't been able to get back into it. When I go home at night, FRIENDS is always just the better option in bed.

7. Friends. The Jeep will be having a costume party for Cristmas! Theme: TV/Movie character. I've been thinking of going as Rachel Berry, but it would mean more to me if I can go as Peyton Sawyer, although they might see it lazy on my part since the Peyton look I'm thinking of going for is her classic plaid/chuck get-up, which is also basically my look. Or I could go as Robin Scherbatsky but I ain't got no knee-high boots. Or maybe I could go as Jamie Sullivan.

8. Christmas. It's nearing, and however bad things have been in my family, we still try hard to make it merry for some of us. If all else fails, there is always the food. Food never fails.


That, among other mundane things, is, for the most part, the rundown of this last month. Nothing special really, just a girl who's trying to live and be happy, and taking it day-by-day.