Finally, misery year is over and I can finally say 'To hell with you 2010, I beat your ass.'
By some streak of luck, I managed to get out of that hell year alive, and well, kicking. There are some things I learned that I'm either gonna leave behind or take away with me. The leave-behinds are well out and done, and I eventually just tired out of talking about them (as I'm sure those who'd been hearing it did as well) so I want to move on to the ones I'll carry over to the next year.
First, the light one, but never to be underestimated: The power of Music. They say the words which no other person can, and fill some terribly empty space where no other can even go. Bands to thank this year: Wakey! Wakey! and Keane. "I know you wanna stay in bed, but there's light outside." Of course this year, I finally got on riding with the Beatle (band) wagon, and let's just say that without "Hey Jude" I've probably jumped into the MRT rail and be dead by now. (I'm dead serious.) So this year, my iPod is some prized (or is it priced, i never really mastered the difference) possession.
Second, also light, but also very powerful: My Books. Lee Fiora, Miles Halter, Esther Greenwood and all of them fictional characters who served as my Loony Ward and actually managed to make me feel I was not crazy. Not even close. You abandon these books sometimes and yet when it comes to times of crisis, you come running back to those shelves, desperate for some company. And company, I got. However sad and loner-ish that sounds, I'm proud to say I got myself new best friends this year, residing and preserved forever in the pages that once came alive and gave me home.
Next, I think I'm probably going to be more social this year. Granted the process of getting there would be very awkward and painful but I'm determined to live that "version" of a full life. It won't mean I'll be partying, relax you guyz. I just mean maybe it's time to choose dinner dates or coffee dates over FRIENDS marathon from time to time (note: 'from time to time'. You can never totally leave FRIENDS behind.) Working at a large company for almost two months now has highlighted the severity of my being an exclusive freak; exclusive freak - a disorder by which a person feels the critical need to keep things she holds special all to herself and to the ones close to her. To put it simply: when it comes to people horizon, I very much need to broaden it.
Next next, a very light one I probably won't take seriously thus would never take effect: Watch my diet. I'm thin, I am, but my tummy has grown so big it's gotten so out of control and I've thrown out a lot of my favorite clothes because they don't fit me anymore. In the past week, I've received three gifts from three special people which I gave back/exchanged because there was no way I would be seen wearing a skimpy shirt looking like a knocked up bimbo. That's how bad it is.
Next next next, life is really just so freaking funny sometimes. Five months ago, I was in total, utter depression, so terminal I had to write "positive" things in a notebook just so I'd have something to read the next morning or else I'll lose it. And then something happened, and I'm writing this now with a heart lightest than I've ever had it, and there's not even a boy involved, just life, and the parts of it I was given.
Next next next next, maybe this year I can include love (yes the cheesy stuff) in my dreams, too. For so long it has been just about work and career, now that I've found peace, as my boss puts is, "at home", maybe now there's a place for lurve (and other drugs.)
Last, I need to work on my faith.
Last last, I have now taken it upon myself to make my family work, in the best way it ever did. Among all my other goals, that's probably on the top, but one I've been carelessly neglecting. Maybe 2011 will finally be the difference.
2011, you got my ass? I hope you do, and save it, if ever, too.